The Dreadful Night

Greetings!!


I can still remember that dreadful night in the beginning of this year. It was the semester break from the university. As it is with college and university students, a break of even two consecutive days is sufficient to disrupt our daily schedules. It had been almost a week since the university was off and my schedule was badly disrupted. It was just another one of those troubled nights when I found it hard to sleep even though the time was considerably past midnight. My eyes were forcefully shut, trying to make my active mind go to sleep. I felt my cellphone vibrate suddenly on my side. It was not the normal time for me receiving messages and I was surprised who would be messaging me at such a time at night.


Opening my eyes with difficulty while shielding them from the seemingly blinding light of the cellphone, my curiosity peaked when it turned out to be an exclusively "day" friend's message. However, only three words constituted that message, yet they were so unbelievable and frightening, I can still remember the shiver than ran up my spine when I read that message.


The three deadly words were, "My dad expired". I thought I maybe misread the message. I read it again, at a complete loss to contemplate it. I read it again, feeling the sinking sensations of the reality while still trying hard not to understand the direct meaning. I thought it might be a bad joke - a really bad joke to be pulled at such a time. Knowing this person, I knew he would never deliver such a bad joke. Fighting the impulse to write swear words in reply and rebuke him for such a pathetic message, I shut the message and went back to my futile attempts to sleep which were now distinctly more feeble. Through shut eyes and darkness, I could see the message emblazoned on the inner side of my eye-lids, burning into my eyeballs. A few long seconds passed by the same way. The next minute, I had rolled over to my cellphone, weirdly breathless, eyes wide open in spite of the light penetrating my dilated pupils, typing out my apologies at the loss while still praying he would reply back with a laugh and an early "April Fool". This reply, however, did not come.


I remember spending the night disturbed, awake, faking sleep so that my family members did not barge into my room criticizing me for late night commotion and praying the morning will have a miraculous reversal of this message. The miracle I was asking for was too big. I bugged a mutual friend in the early morning hours the same day about this happening, she also admitted being equally disturbed at the news. The whole day passed in a senseless frenzy and chaos, with some uncanny excerpts of our friendly moments reverberating in my ears.


The "gang" at the university had decided that the semester break would involve a visit to this friend's place. At that moment I couldn't help wishing we had never said that. This is definitely not what any of us had in mind. On an earlier occasion, this friend had talked about his family - his parents and a sweet sister constituted his family. On a certain random topic, I recalled him say, "we are four. When my sister gets married, I too will get married. So we will still remain four!! :)" After this dreadful loss, I was completely lost at how that count will ever be completed again. The loss was irrevocable - no number of people could ever fill that place. No one could even approach that space left empty. And no amount of words can express that loss to the fullest.


Do remember everyone and especially the departed soul in your prayers.


May Allah Bless Us All,
Peace.